Decisons...

       

I have never been good at decisons, Y's in the path, red or yellow, chocolate or vanailla. I always worry that the other direction, color, or flavor would be better. There have been 6 times in my life that I KNEW without a doubt that I was making the right decisions, one is when I married my husband, and the other is with each one of my 5 children.
The past few months have been a rough patch for me, I believe a huge part of that was falling victim to S.A.D (seasonal affected disorder). This was a very dark winter, and this SPRING/SUMMER girl found  the effects of lack of sun on a person can be a real reality, but with the seasons changing and it staying light longer, and being able to open the windows and smell the fresh air I have been renewed.
I have gone from hoping I'd get the house somewhat liveable to clean and organized, laundry is done, school is happening on a daily basis, things are getting back to normal and I love it. I am beginging to thrive again.
So what does this have to do with decisions? I have given an oppurtunity to serve God in this upcoming year, and I am so conflicted on making wise decisions. Things feel so good now at home, now that Mama gear is turning again in proper sync, that there is a huge part of me that doesn't want to disrupt it. Like getting reception on a tv...DONT MOVE, HOLD that postition. This is a humble oppurtunity, but will consist of a lot of work, or at least a lot of commitment.  I don't want to choose wrong for me or my family, but neither do I want to choose wrong for the work HE will do  in and through me. Prayer, prayer and more prayer then listening, listening and more listening that seems it is what is in order, I just wish sometimes he would pin a note to my shirt like they did in kindergarten. "To guardian of _____________, She is needed to say ____________ to the issue of ____________, in order for _____________ to occur. With Best Regard and LOTS of love, GOD"

                                               

Forest???? All I can see is Trees!

In the midst of times of trial, I find that I quite often loose sight of the truth. I get so lost in the trees I forget that I am in the forest... I think it is safe to say that from time to time we all feel that way. We want to be in the forest, that is what we have desired...but once we get there walking through it all we can ask ourselves is "are we there yet?" or "I bet the view of the forest is  gorgeous , if only we could get rid of all these trees".
I have been walking through, it for a little bit, desperately wanting to become something...looking for the forest, that pivotal point that I say " I made it, I'm here" but I have learned a truth...I'm there, I made it! I am that person, even the people that we look up to or are inspired by, are striving... it is human nature. Accepting that make all the difference in the world! It is permission to revel in our progress, to enjoy who you are, not who you'd like to be! To say I HAVE ARRIVED, and the forest is beautiful!